June 08, 2005

Mowing Misadventures

Okay, maybe the last entry was a bit harsh, but I was bored and guess I needed to get it off my chest. Things aren't that dreadfully bad, I'm just a little unhappy at the moment...possibly due to hormonal imbalances...
Anyways, I shall now regale you with my fun experiences mowing lawns. See I have an elderly neighbor beside my house who is selling her house. To make it look good, they obviously need the lawn mowed fairly frequently- that's where I come in. I mow the lawn about once a week, and get paid 15$ (I originally refused money but I was threatened into taking it)


This is all well and fine, but it's the crazy neighbor on the other side of my house that kills me. This woman is horribly anal to the tenth degree, and is always in people's business. Now she has been taking care of the elderly nice lady, and pretty much arranges things like lawn mowing, so we won't have to bother the frail woman. Again this is all fine, until you realize that I get these fun phone calls from crazy lady. Yesterday, she phoned me, inquiring (that's the nice term) when I would mow the lawn because you know it will have been a week tomorrow, and we can't have it get mowed a day after that. And then she proceeds to tell me the best times to mow it because it might rain. Then I get advice to mow it after noon because the grass might be too wet and it goes on. She apparently thinks between 1 and 3 are the ultimate best times to mow it, after that giant purple dinosaurs come running out with chain saws and take after you.

Of course I know already about when the grass is dry enough to cut, and so on I have been doing this for years...But apparently I am to bask in her great wisdom she is giving me. This is from a woman who when she goes away asks us to water her plants, but beside each one is detailed hand written instructions. We are also given strict rules about her paper and mail.

Either way that's just one fun aspect of the story. The second one is the actual mowing. My lawn, back and front, has easily got to be twice as large as my neighbor's but for some reason her lawns take me twice as much time to cut. It's a little like an obstacle course, you have oddly placed trees, gardens, a for sale sign, and it's all slanted, so you need twice the effort hauling the lawn mower around. The back is even worse. It's like this giant overgrown garden, and she has this little standing bird bath thing that hasn't been cleaned in years, so it's a perfect breeding ground for mosquitoes. I feel like I'm in the Vietnamese jungle when I mow back there. So by the time I am done mowing her lawns, as well as my own, I am ready to go crazy (possibly undiagnosed jungle fever).

Oh and today there were all these wormy things hanging from the trees, and for the longest time I couldn't figure out why I kept getting covered in webbing. Until I looked around and saw all these little green worms hanging in mid air taunting me. I'm kinda scared as to where the worms went after I ran into their stringy stuff...

So there's my story about the fun experiences I must go through once a week...I can only wait until next Tuesday when I get another phone call and the fun starts all over again.

- k


P.S. Don't you think the picture in my last blog looks like Phil...well prior the gym workouts

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I feel like I'm in the Vietnamese jungle when I mow back there."

...I'm not going to even ask when you had the chance to visit Vietnam.

...Awfully tall to be me.

11:04 a.m.  
Blogger katie said...

Well, actually last year I snuck away and visited Vietnam when no one was looking...but it's my little secret. And that picture looks very much like you. The shirt, the hair, the brooding...it's all there.
You aren't as short as you seem to think.

2:39 p.m.  

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